No one will deny the importance of family, and the role it has played in the affairs of men, and in the evolution of mankind. You remember the song:

This has been a very popular hit, and it is an accurate statement of the mentality that existed a few years ago when courting was a portent of future engagement, and sexual relationships, synonymous with marriage.

And it was not so bad, indeed, when we realize that, nowadays, a couple will live together a few months, or a few years, and if they still love each other, at least enough to make it more official, they will tie the knot at the local church, or before a Justice of the Peace. And after all, why not! Considering all religious marriages that end in a divorce, one may well wonder if the constraints of church laws, are not more prejudicial than a trial period, where the partners will try to discover if they are compatible, and if they wish to spend the rest of their life together. You may call it wrong education, or even moral decline, but it is called free-will. And it is the birthright of every individual on the earth plane, to express that free-will to the best of their understanding and their abilities.

The home is the nearest pattern in earth [where there is unity of purpose in the companionship] to man's relation to his Maker. For it is ever creative in purpose from personalities and individualities coordinated for a cause, an ideal. ...Do make the home the career, for this is the greater career any soul can make in the earth.
[Edgar Cayce]

Religious marriage is the commitment of a man and a woman, who, subconsciously recognizing the similarity of their karmic patterns (irresistible attraction), and being drawn, one to the other, by the law of cause and effect, join their lives, and promise to love, 'till death do them part'

This indissolubility of the sacrament has led and still lead to abuse and mental tortures, and, from the start, it subconsciously creates an emotional imbalance, that manifests itself, whenever, and as soon as, marital difficulties appear. In that respect, the expression 'put one's head in the noose' is not far from the truth, and many married couples give the impression that they are condemned to hard labor for life.

You can promise to be on time for dinner. You can also promise to cut the grass on Saturday, but, at no time, can you promise to love someone, and even less, for a lifetime. Love is an emotional response. You do not control emotions like you control the thermostat of your house. Of course, the partners' desires will be that their union lasts a lifetime, but the sole bond should be the love they share together, and not a promise hermetically sealed by a sacrament. This is the marriage made in Heaven, and, to all intents and purposes, it is the most enduring one.

It has been said, somewhere, that God, the Energy of All Life, sanctifies marriage, and it is true. However, one must understand that God sanctifies the commitment itself, and has nothing to do with the ceremonies and ritual, that accompany the Sacrament in all religions of the world. Many of these, are so pompous and ceremonious, that they will distract the bride and groom from their true purpose, and therefore marriage becomes more a social function, than a true love commitment.

The ceremony itself, that is, the actual commitment, is an excellent way to mark and crystallize the event in the minds of the newlyweds and their family. However, because of the religious implications it entails, the Sacrament subconsciously creates a mental block, and the promise of "till death do us part," that seals the indissolubility of the union, gradually supersedes all other considerations, thus arousing a feeling of ownership that does not have its place in the unfoldment of a true love relationship.

All these misunderstandings concerning marriage, divorce, and adultery, stem from the ignorance of spiritual laws, aggravated by erroneous interpretations of the Scriptures. The theological imbroglio that surrounds marriage, divorce and abortion, is the consequence of these erroneous translations and interpretations, skillfully intermingled with Jesus' teachings to comply with the male bias, which is so incrusted in the human mind, that it has lasted up to our days.

In Levi's 'Aquarian Gospel of Jesus the Christ' we find:

Love is the power of God that binds two souls and make them one; there is no power on earth that can dissolve the bond. The bodies may be forced apart by man or death for just a little time, but they will meet again. Now, in this bond we find the marriage tie; all others are but bonds of straw, and they who live in them commit adultery." [Aquarian Gospel 98: 11-12]

This is a direct allusion to reincarnation, where Jesus states clearly, and unequivocally, that love transcend time and space, and that we meet again, life after life, to fulfil the karmic patterns of the law of cause and effect, or karma. All other bonds are but bonds of straw that blow in the slightest wind.

Such teachings were not in accord with those of the Old Testament, and one can easily imagine the Jews' reaction and anger. Jesus was implicitely stating that the love bond between two individuals is the only one that counts; that without this love, all other commitments are of no value. Those whose only bond is the church, or civil commitment, are the adulterers, which amounts to saying that the love bond is, indeed, the marriage bond, and without this love, there is no marriage.

Bible translations are made of such inconsistencies and incongruities, that one cannot but conclude that many of these teachings do not originate from Jesus ,or the other prophets. For example, we find;

I tell you, then, that any man who divorces his wife for any cause other than her unfaithfulness, commits adultery if he marries some other woman." [Mat. 5:2]

This last verse is in opposition to the one cited above, where it is said that a marriage without love is, in fact, an adultery. The french version of the Bible speaks of 'illegal union' instead of 'unfaithfulness, which tends to prove that, in the course of centuries, each translator has given us 'his' interpretation of the scriptures.
Again, the Bible says:

For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one. So, they are no longer two, but one. Man must not separate, then, what God has joined together." [Matt.19: 5,6]

Here, Jesus gives a true definition of marriage, but, there also, religions have fallen into the trap of materialism, and the marriage bond has become a sacrament sealed by a piece of paper. Man has no power over love, and it is not what a priest, or magistrate, may say that seals the marriage bond, but the love force that exists between the two partners. And it is this love force that determines the strength and the lengthof the relationship, not a civil, or church law.

As you can see, there are many ways to interpret a teaching. Those who claim to be spiritual teachers, or pastors, or evangelists, should look within, into their own book of life, and there, try to find the wisdom and understanding they need to interpret the Scriptures.

The disciples themselves did not always understand the teachings. As mentioned before, some of the teachings we find in the Gospels, are not the exact words of the Master, but rather snatches of conversation, gleaned here and there, among those who had followed Jesus, and were later embellished, and adapted to the materialistic needs of the growing Church. The teachings concerning marriage were no exception, especially since the Church thought it necessary to institute its own laws, that, unfortunately, do not always coincide with the spiritual laws of the universe and the true message of the Gospels.

Isn't it a fact that, in earlier times, and even in our contemporary society, religions have never objected to marriages of convenience, where money and social status are the true criteria, and where love relationships are relegated to the rank of a pleasurable commodity and come with the deal. Many of the great marriages of the past have been encouraged and approved by the Church, and this, even if everyone concerned knew that the two partners did not love each other (they were, very often, in love with someone else), and had agreed, or were forced, to tie the knot for political reasons, or to increase the family's wealth and possessions. The same was true of royal marriages, who were performed (with the benediction of the Church) for the sole purpose of strengthening the bond, not between the two partners, but rather between their two countries.

Even today, numerous are these unhappy marriages where, trapped in the entanglements of their own rigid doctrine, and their own misconceived ideas, regarding the commitment, the partners remain within the relationship, in the belief that it is their religious duty, and that such a sacrifice will eventually be rewarded. Martyrdom is not an end in itself. Those who sacrifice their own joy and happiness, because of religious or social constraints, must realize that it is, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, unhealthy, to remain in a relationship, where true love has given way to indifference, coolness, resentment and even repressed hate.

When Jesus said: Let the one who is without sin throw the first stone, he had read in the heart of all those (mostly married men) who were about to stone Mary of Magdala, and he was thus confirming that adultery is not a physical act, but a mental state that can concretize itself in any circumstances, and even in the marital bed. Adultery is an emotional imbalance that depletes the energetic system of the body, because the two partners are not on the same vibratory level. They are not in atonement, one with the other.

Because of their materialistic approach to life, churches of the world have considerably limited the freedom and the individualization of men and women in the world. However, marriage is, unequivocally, the institution that has had the greatest impact on societies of the past two thousand years. If it is true that marriage strengthens the bond between the two partners, it is equally true that the limitations of the Sacrament, and the promise to love 'till death do us part', and the strict ordinance of the church regarding marriage, divorce, abortion and sexuality in general, have brought guilt feelings and even resentment and hate, when one of the partners or both wish to put an end to the agreement, but refrain from doing so, for they cannot overcome their fear of God, and the doubts, planted in their mind, by an ignorant and materialist society.

Marriage should be the natural outcome of love, and not vice-versa. LOVE, true love, is the motivating factor and the sole true bond of a lasting relationship. It is the barometer that determines the strength and the length of the partnership, and with the exception of children, the only criteria on which should be based a separation, or divorce.

Procreation should also be the natural outcome of love, and not as some may feel, the fulfilment of a duty, or the consequence of an unfortunate mistake. It is much more in accordance with God's law to take the pill, or stop the pregnancy, than bring into the world an unwanted child.

In a consumer's society where the dollar is king, it is a normal human response, to think twice before conceiving a child. In this respect, planned parenthood is an excellent way to combine the desire to raise a family with a rational planning of the needs and obligations a birth will unmistakably create. It is normal and desirable to weigh the pros and cons with regard to the relationship, and, not the least, the welfare and education of the future child. The future parents must honestly ask themselves if their love is strong enough to create a family cell that can be maintained as a unit, and this, in spite of the inevitable difficulties of the marital life. In the final analysis, it is mostly a question of generosity, the desire, latent in all human beings, to give another spirit the chance to reincarnate and experience materiality, keeping in mind, of course, the welfare of the future child, and the psychological impact a birth will have on the two partners.

Thus, the birthing process will not be the consequence of a human error, or obligation. It will be the natural outcome of selfless love and true marital understanding, where the partners give themselves, one to the other, in order to procreate, and bring a new spirit into the world. It must be planned and decided, without regards to social, or religious pressures, and each of the individuals concerned, man and woman, must be allowed total freedom of their sexual expression. Whether the mother decides to allow a pregnancy to take place, or have an abortion, the choice is hers, and no individual, or mate, or religious movement, or civil law, has the right to interfere in such a personal decision. She can be helped and encouraged, but the law of God forbids anyone, to interfere in the karmic process of another individual, and the consequences are enormous for those who take such a responsibility.

While individuals evolve according to the perception they have of themselves and the world that surrounds them (the karmic patterns), societies evolve according to a collective consciousness, that feeds itself from the thoughts of mankind, and becomes the motivating force behind all great changes. This is why it is said:'Judge not, lest you be judged!'

So, the more we feed that collective consciousness with positive thoughts, the more we become a spiritual society. In the same manner, if we feed it with negativity, it cannot but become a materialistic and decadent society.

That collective consciousness of negativity is but the effect of a cause, and, until that cause is in atonement with the Principle, it will be very difficult to become a spiritual people. This is why it is so hard to change the behavioral patterns of societies, as the changes must come from within, not from without. 'Know thyself' is not only a good philosophical advice, it is the key to our spiritual evolution and all the so-called mysteries of life.

Revolutions are a good example of a collective consciousness of unexpressed desires, anger, and repressed hate, that builds up for hundreds of years, and gathers momentum, until the time it becomes a reality in the face of history. Just imagine a collective consciousness of love, compassion and human brotherhood, and you have there all the components necessary for a New Renaissance of humanity.

Even though most of humanity agrees there is some kind of Power, or Force, watching over us, each society has its own perception of that Power. Christians believe in a personal God, formed of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. Hindus have their Trinity of Brahma, Siva and Vishnu, with Vishnu as the most important of the three. Buddhists also have their Trinity that they call 'The Three Treasures,' with Buddha, the Enlightened One, as a Teacher and a model, and Muslims believe in a unique God that speaks through his prophets.

All these beliefs are part of the collective consciousness of a people, and, indirectly, they have served to shape the modes and customs of societies since the beginning of creativity. And this is how each nation came to believe that its modes ands customs, including marriage, were the way of life for all people, and were sanctioned by God.

So, while Christians think in terms of monogamy, Mormons and other creeds will consider polygamy, as an acceptable and respectable way of life, and, whether it is the Bible, or the Coran, they will always find, in their sacred book, an approval of their conduct, and a sanctioning of their God.

Now, who is to say that either way of life is God's will, or not? The fact is that God does not place any limitations on human behavior, and He sanctions all ways of life, provided it conforms to the laws of Order, Balance, Harmony, Growth, God-Perception, Love and Compassion, that are the laws of the universe. So, whether one has one wife, or three, is not important. Here, the true criterion is whether each of these people feels comfortable, or not, within the relationship, and how he, or she, can best fulfil his, or her, mission of life. This is the criterion on which they will be judged. The rest is all man-made agreements, anf even though these agreements are part of the evolutionary process of physical life, they can, in no way, supersede the individual's right to free expression, and this freedom of expression is the dominant factor of human relations.

Of course, even though polygamous marriages exist within certain sects, it is ill-advised to have polygamous unions in our western societies, because our customs and ways of life are built around monogamy. However, these are all human considerations and compartmentalized conditions of life, and, from a spiritual point of view, God only sanctions the love and compassion that exists, or should exist, between all individuals, and are, in fact, the real objective of our earth's mission.

Religions have unfortunately exerted a strong influence over marriage and its procreative aspect, and there was a time when a childless couple was scowled at, and questioned, as to the 'normalcy' of their sexual relationships. They were asked, not if they still loved each other, but rather if they were doing their duty concerning the procreation of children and the perpetuation of the race. Women were, unfortunately, the main targets, and the confessional has been an important factor in the baby-boom of the first part of this century. Even if for the good of mankind, no one can be coerced, or forced, to procreate, either by a mate, a religion, or society.

The perpetuation of the species is a myth and a materialistic concept. The conception of a child is a biological need. It is only when there is a true desire, to bring a new spirit into the world, and help that spirit on his journey to earth, that motherhood becomes the greatest vocation. Whether population increases, or decreases, is unimportant. We live eternally, in all worlds and all dimensions, and our life plans are prepared, not according to habits and customs of the societies in which we live, but rather according to karmic agreements made prior to our entrance into the world.

Thus we can see that, through a materialistic approach to marriage, divorce, and sexuality, humanity has forgotten that LOVE supersedes all other laws, including church laws, that, more than often, tend to reinforce the social customs of a society, rather than strengthen love relationships between men and women.

Love is wonderful, indeed, but only if it has the freedom of its own expression, without being bound to the religious constraints, or the limitations of our social structures and ways of life. However, there are limits, and one will certainly not blame a policeman who arrests a couple because they made love on a public bench. Walking the streets in total nakedness is certainly not a sin, but it does not conform to the customs of our society, and there are laws to that effect.

However, what two consenting adults, hetero or homosexual, do in the secret of their bedroom is their affair. Again, no one has the right to interfere in personal relationships between adult individuals, as long as this relationship is voluntary, and does not affect the well-being and the health of other individuals.

Civil and religious marriages are worthy institutions, but they are, nevertheless, customs, that have been established to bring order to a careless and selfish world. The LOVE FORCE, or sexual energy, that is released before, during, and after sexual intercourse, is not related, in any way, to the social, or religious commitment, but is rather the culmination (the orgasmic principle) of a true love expression, enhanced by a desire to share and give, without expecting anything in return. Sex is not a question of positions, as some sexologists would have us believe. It is a question of unconditional love and (com)passion. Sex is not something that we learn. It is something that we express, and when two people are truly in love, it doesn't take long to find the right words and the right positions.

As the Vishnu Force so well stated in a reading received through Elwood Babbitt:

Sex is a normalcy of all individuals that move in the powers of the forces of creation and procreation. It is the avenue of which all find their true seeking. And that is within nature, the forces of worlds, and that which allows the forces of all natural laws, to operate in their normalcy of what you call the orgasmic principle of life. It is that which is enjoyed, yet is not used in the way that is detrimental to one's own attitudes and concerns to material affairs as well as spiritual ones. But the widening arisenment to the spiritual enlightenment ,brings forces of creation and creativity, that ignite the forces of the reproductive organs ,over which you have no control. So, it is not the issues of what you term, in your social order, of negativity. It is a simple procedure of honor to the artistic conception of not only the density of flesh, but the vital forces of God in motion.

Sin has no life of its own. It is a product of the mind, and it draws its strength from the negative thoughts of mankind. These thoughts are sustained by all the false expectations and taboos of an intolerant religious society, that has defiled the sanctity of sex, and the procreative aspect of life, for many thousands of years. In itself, sex is a pure and enlightening experience. It is only adulterated, when the commitment lacks the love force that is the sole lasting bond of any sexual-spiritual relationship.

The sexual act, performed for the sole purpose of earning money, as do the prostitutes, or to satisfy a carnal desire, as do the casanovas, is only an animalistic reaction to the biological aspect of life. It is not a crime, if agreed mutually. It is, however, adulterating the spiritual aspect of the experience, and, through the centuries, there have been more adulterers in the marital bed than in the hidden love nests of all the lovers of creation.

Isn't it society that has made, of money, the medium of exchange between people. You get nothing without money. You can purchase everything with money. You can even purchase religious medals to protect yourself, or a funeral service for your loved one. Some even believe that they can purchase a place in heaven. Then, who are we to blame an individual who buys a little love?

As with all experiences of life, such behavior is karmic in itself, and those who experience this specific aspect of life participate to the reincarnational drama which is played from life to life. However, this form of love (prostitution), is a palliative, as well as masturbation, which is not a shameful sin as some would have us believe.

True sexuality is giving, and what gives the sexual act its impetus, is the communion that exist between the two partners, when the orgasmic principle raises the two partners to the vibratory level of their primeval state. It is not marriage as such, that will keep the relationship alive 'until death do us part', and experience has shown that it is extremely difficult to remain in a relationship where love has disappeared. And when love disappears, there remains but an unhealthy promiscuity, which can be harmful to the partners, or the family circle, if they have children.

Sexual education is not only the discovery of the male and female anatomy, or a course on sexually transmitted diseases. In fact, too much emphasis is given to the physical aspect of sex, and not enough to the mental and spiritual implications of the relationship. In fact, nothing is by coincidence or accident, and, sooner or later, humanity will discover that sexually transmitted diseases are much more the consequence of the decline of societies than a question of hygiene. In its natural state, sane and free of all negative thoughts, the human body can resist all viruses, whether it is cold, cancer or sida.

Children should be told about the birds and the bees, and should definitely know, even at an early age, where babies come from, but, aside from this, there is no need of an extensive course on sexuality. It is much more important to learn about becoming a man and a woman, and all the rest will follow in its proper time and place.

Besides, it is good that love be surrounded with a little mystery. The Golden Age of cinema has given us love stories that far surpass the scenes of tasteless exhibitionism and bad taste of some of our contemporary films. It is in such an atmosphere that our children must learn to become the men and women of tomorrow, while, at the same time, we warn them, hypocritically, against the danger of aids and praise the virtues of a condom.

The danger is, obviously, real, and the use of condoms has become a palliative, necessary to the state of collective consciousness we have reached, when fear has taken hold of society, thus weakening an immune system that feeds itself (literally) with positive thoughts, as well as it becomes ineffective when fear and negative thoughts take possession of the human mind.

In the last decades, sexology has won its place in the sun. This new form of therapy, has become 'à la mode' and the advice, previously whispered in the ear, has now found its way in the radio and television studios, where listeners pour out their heart, and unveil intimate facts they would not even discuss with their spouse. The open line programs are always full of surprises, and while a lady wants to know why her husband doesn't make love more than three times a day, another one is worried, because her partner wants to have sex more than once a week. Some complain of migraine just before going to bed, while others cannot reach orgasm. In the male camp, some men will complain about their wife's frigidity, while others have difficulties of ejaculation, which, of course, raises questions as to their own virility.

This, of course, does not imply that sexologists have no usefulness, for it is sometimes easier to confide in a third party than risk a confrontation. However, if a person is capable of unveiling her most secret thoughts and feelings to a stranger, for sure, she can confide in her own spouse. The direct approach is always the best, and a frank and honest talk with the partner, and the admission of one's own responsibility in the matter, would certainly ease the tension, and possibly solve the problem, if, of course, they still love each other. If not, there is not much that can be done, unless that love is revived.

Marriage being a major karmic role, it is probable, and even certain, that the partners were brought together to settle problems that were left unsolved in previous lives. Such is the case for many sexual disorders. When the doctor confirms there is no physical cause to a sexual problem, the patient would be well-advised to make a self-examination of his own behavior, as well as a reassessment of his goals and priorities of life.

A renowned psychologist, Dr. Helen Wambach, has regressed hundreds, if not thousands, of people who, visualizing one of their past lives and reliving specific traumatic experiences, have found there, the source of their problems. On their return to reality, and after only a few sessions, many of these people felt a great relief, as if a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. Very often, the mere fact of recognizing the problem was enough to make it disappear and re-establish harmony between the two partners.

Regression techniques are not well known and accessible to all, but it has been proved that many sex-related problems are remnants of past life experiences and a sure sign that the individual has not learned his lessons. Reincarnation is a concept, that does not fit very well in our occidental culture, but if we think about it for a moment, we realize it is much more logical than the hocus-pocus of all those who equate sexual pleasure with 'positions,' and try to relate sexual problems to a lack of experience. It is not a matter of 'positions,' or experience. It is a matter of understanding the real purpose of life, and the reason why you were born again to be together.

In the final analysis, when true love and selflessness are at the basis of a relationship, there are strong chances, even if there are karmic problems to be solved, that this relationship will be free of psychological problems having to do with sex, and the couple will enjoy a very active sex life.

This said, it is obvious that one cannot relate all sexual problems to a past life experience. The present life has its share of frustrations and unexpected events, and as a collective group, society has its share of responsibility in the unfoldment of our lives and the fulfilment of our mission of life.

A good example of this, and one whose ramifications are found in the collective consciousness of individuals, is the custom of cutting the vagina, so that the child can come out more easily. This, of course, was never meant to be, and such a process can be the cause of many sexual problems such as difficulty of penetration and ulcers, which, of course, put a damper on sexual relationships.

However, beyond all physiological considerations, we can be sure that the law of cause and effect play an essential role in the unfoldment of our earthly lives, and, transcending the centuries, the repercussions are felt in all the vibratory levels we call space and time.

Sexual education begins quite early in life, and it is not necessary to practice nudity in the home to teach children they are of different sex. Many parents will try to be very explicit, while others will find sexuality, too intimate a subject to discuss. In fact, it is more simple than that, and, ideally, one should act and react normally, not saying too much, or volunteering premature information, but not hiding anything either, and answering questions honestly whenever the child wants to know. Remember that you are on a quest from the moment you open your eyes to the world. The mere fact that a child asks a question is reason enough to give him an honest answer. His inquiring mind may not understand the answer completely, but the seed of truth has been planted in his mind, and, in the due course of time, it will come to the surface, and become a part of his growing process.

It is not necessary to receive an extensive course on anatomy, for sexuality is a normalcy of nature. If the birds and the bees find the way to reproduce, there is no reason to believe that human beings can't do the same, with, of course, a better approach and a better understanding of the implications it entails. There is no miracle recipe, and one has but to give free rein to imagination, leaving aside all the misconceptions that have been handed down to us in the course of centuries. All these erroneous teachings of the past, concerning sex, have distorted human perceptions, and destroyed the beauty of physical love.

True love is not an animalistic reaction to the biological aspect of life. It is the mutual recognition of two souls, attracted one to the other by the law of cause and effect, and brought together to fulfil their pre-incarnation agreements. Nothing happens by coincidence, or accident. This strong attraction is but the visual recognition (the eyes are the mirror of the soul) of karmic ties that bring us together, life after life, and this, for the ultimate purpose of restoring the balance within ourselves and with others, thus fulfilling the law of karma, and reaping forever what we have sown. Love is the most natural thing in the universe, and failures are more the consequence of not being able to fulfil these karmic agreements, than a lack of experience.

In this respect, adolescents should refrain from engaging too early in sexual plays, as they may disturb the fragile equilibrium that exists, or should exist, between a well-balanced family life, where the child develops into a mature and responsible individual, and the strong urge, amplified by cinema, TV, and society, to indulge in sexual activities before achieving a certain maturity. Premature sex, at an age when the mind is still primarily focused on family relationships, education and growth, detracts the adolescent from the very goal he is pursuing, that of becoming an adult through the normal process of life, that is, infancy, adolescence, youth and maturity. An early incursion in the domain of emotions, may also arouse a feeling of dissatisfaction, uneasiness, and possibly guilt, as these young people are not, yet, prepared to understand the true purpose of their early commitment. Therefore, sex becomes a kind of game, where senses get the upper hand over the feelings of love, care, and tenderness, that such intimacies usually arouse in the individual's mind.

The transition from adolescence to youth, goes through occasional bad patches, and, if adolescence is considered an awkward age, youth is also a difficult transitional period. It is a time when young people begin to assess their own values and ideas regarding life, in order to become worthy and useful members of society, and fulfil the mission that brought them to earth this time around. Sex is, of course, part of these values, and the way they approach it in youth, will very often determine the course of future love relationships.

The previous generations have been raised in a negative atmosphere, where the joy and the pleasure of sex, were, considerably, tempered by the ever present rigidity of religions, concerning a mode of expression, that has absolutely nothing to do with religiosity, that is, the very personal procreative aspect of sexuality. Premarital relationships were forbidden, and although the bride was expected to enter matrimony as a virgin, the bridegroom was never questioned as to his own virginity. It was, indeed, and still is, a man's world, and although the male bias is, slowly, but gradually, fading away, there is still a lot to do, to reassert the value of women, and give them back, not supremacy over men, but their dignity of human beings.

The present adult generation went full steam ahead, and the pendulum swung in the opposite direction where permissiveness became the key word. The 60s saw the appearance of free love, and sexual intercourse became 'a la mode' on the campus and in secondary schools. Not surprisingly, it also infiltrated the elementary schools, where many youngsters tried, and still try, to emulate their elders, consequence of which, young adolescent girls find themselves pregnant, at an age when they can still play with dolls. Not that they are particularly eager to engage in sexual relationships, but, just as they did with drugs, most of them do it out of curiosity, or 'to follow the crowd' and not feel apart from the others.

The 80s have seen a recrudescence of the old values, fortunately tempered by a new vision of Christianity concerning sexuality, marriage, abortion, homosexuality, and life in general. It is unfortunate that the Church did not see fit to alleviate its own doctrine, concerning these fundamental questions. Let us hope that a near future will see a Christianity centered, not on materialistic values, that are remnants of the past, and a deterrent to the evolutionary process of life, but on the legitimate desires of the individual, and the necessity to adjust to the new patterns and the new modes of expression of an ever changing society. If we come back, life after life, to have exactly the same experiences and repeat the same mistakes, there is not much to gain in the process. However, if we do it to avoid repeating these mistakes, then we should try to live the present life according to our own feelings and ideals of life, and not within the context of man-made and inflexible religious laws, that block the view to the infinite variety of life's experiences.

If they are to survive, Christian religions must alleviate, or simply forsake, their rigid laws that paralyze individuals and hinder their spiritual development. The law concerning marriage, must be adapted to the instability of our modern times, and a more human approach to the indissolubility of the commitment, will allow each couple, individually, to flow in the spontaneity of the partnership, rather than be trapped in the religious entanglements of an ill-assorted marriage, worsened by remorse and guilt feelings. Far from encouraging divorce, such a reform will ease the tension between the partners, allowing them a greater clarity of mind, and a greater freedom, where they can decide of the road to follow for their mutual benefit. Isn't it a fact that, in spite of the "till death do us part" promise, more and more marriages are breaking up. It may not be the main factor, but the religious commitment, that morally, mentally, and spiritually, links two people till the end of their earthly life, exert an unconscious pressure over the individuals, and may become a burden when the time comes to separate.

It is not to say, that marriages should be limited to 5, 10 or 15 year contracts, because these, too, would hamper the love commitment that would then be no more than a legal contract, or a business deal between two partners. The personal commitment between a man and a woman who truly love each other, and want to spend the rest of their life together, in or out of marriage, has more value, and may last longer, because the commitment is sealed by a love force, that is thus recognized by both partners, and the religious ceremony will only sanction, officially, what has already been sanctioned in their own hearts.

Although society holds a different point of view, a broken marriage is not necessary a failure. It is, very often, the social constraints and the religious implications, that make it difficult to face the situation, and act for the best. Our narrow-mindedness, and our misconceptions of life, limit our perceptions to one life, but we have lived many lives before, and have had many encounters with one another. It is not coincidence, or accident, it is the law of cause and effect that claims its dues, and brings us back together, life after life, to balance the karmic agreements of each other. These karmic agreements exert such a strong influence on the present life, that there is no need to make it a seal-tight agreement to strengthen the relationship. The 'till death do us part' commitment is, again, a remnant of customs of the past, when the male bias was even more predominant than in the present society. One has but to remember the crusades, and the chastity belts many wifes had to wear, to realize that the commitment was much more detrimental to women than to men.

In spite of great difficulties, most couples will always try to work out their difficulties, and it is only after repeated efforts of reconciliation, that they will finally decide to end the relationship. Separation is already so difficult, that the Church should do everything in its power, to make the transition easier, and help the partners get over this difficult stage in their life, instead of enforcing laws that only bring doubts, uncertainties, and guilt feelings.

Living together, and not experiencing the full force of life is the barrenness of nature. And again, nothing is by coincidence, or accident. It is all happening within the laws of adhesion of energies, of which those of our immediate, or future, relationships have been a part in previous lives. The failure would be to cling to a relationship where there is not a true expression of love and understanding, and which, after repeated efforts, do not show any sign of improvement, and simply does not work. This is, very often, if not most of the time, what causes ill-health to manifest on the body, as the spiritual, mental, and physical bodies, are not in tune with each other. In this respect, procrastination is definitely not a virtue, as it is putting off the ultimate good, that would ,eventually, come from the new changes and the new environment.

The main concern, here, is that marriage is, definitely, a personal matter. Even though it is part of our religious customs ands practices, intrinsically, it has nothing to do with church laws. It has to do with the commitment of two people, deciding, of their own free will, to live together, and of their inalienable right to end the relationship, if such is their desire. The rest is all societal agreements, that have been a part of all races and all civilizations since the beginning of creativity.

In a cosmic perspective, love relationships are not limited to one life. They span the centuries, in order to insure, that, whatever we sow, that we will reap. The karmic agreements and obligations, that bring us back together in a new life experience, weigh heavily in the balance, and have consequences and repercussions that go far beyond the limited concepts of many of our psychologists and sexologists. The ideal, of course, is to live together, till the end of the earthly life, and after all, isn't it what love is all about. It is, however, a question of personal choice, and morality, or religion, have no say in the matter. The Church may consider a separation as a failure, but only because it does not understand the concept of successive lives. The failure would be to remain in a relationship that slowly suffocates both partners, and, directly, or indirectly, the whole family. Our own conception of what is right or wrong, is, unfortunately, tainted with the biases and misconceptions of religion and society, and, in this, as in many other activities of life, we fail to see the ultimate good and the ultimate benefit. In a cosmic perspective of life, separation is but a door that opens to new challenges and new beginnings.

Thus, the end of a relationship is not the end of everything, and, far from being a failure, a separation or a divorce can be a sign of great maturity, for the expression of our own individuality is a pre-requisite to a well-balanced and fulfilling family life. Each of us is an island, a universe that has its own laws, the laws of the God within. We all have our own destiny and, if necessary, we must have the courage to move away from an environment that strangles the free expression of our spirit. The ideal would be to consider all those who cross our pathway of life as strangers, strangers that we love and respect, but strangers nevertheless, for, it is in this manner, that we will express the true brotherhood of spirit, and our individuality of Sons and daughters of God.

This does not free us of obligations. It simply extends the field of our experiences beyond the family circle. Of course, assuming the responsibilities is just and right, but we must not allow the family circle to be so close, or feel such a keen responsability, that we cannot search for our own spiritual force, for even in the genetics, or the expression of children, we all have our special destiny.

If it ever becomes necessary to separate, so be it, but it is not the unique approach to spiritual development. It goes without saying, that the proximity of family, and a marital union lived and sealed with love and selflessness, are still the best field of experience, and the best means to express universal love in this tridimensional world that we inhabit. Needless to say, then, that separation is only a solution of last resort. The best way to fulfill our karmic obligations, is still to do the utmost to find a solution to the present problems, for they are the very reason for our earth incarnations, and they will follow us, life after life, until total fulfilment of each other's obligations.

Thus the law of cause and effect is a constant reminder, that the ultimate goal of all our lives, is to reestablish the physical, mental, and spiritual balance, within ourselves and with others, thus enriching and expanding this Universal Energy we all represent. This God Energy within the body is sovereign, and is the sole judge of all our actions and deeds of the present life, and of all the lives we have lived since the beginning of creativity.

What is at stake, here, is the religious marriage, and what this form of life represents for humanity. In the course of centuries, it has become a rigid institution enforced by church laws, that have nothing to do with the love commitment. And if civil laws interfere in such a personal relationship as marriage, it is only of necessity, because humanity has forgotten the law of love and brotherhood, and we have become a heartless, selfish, and irresponsible society.

Thus we can see, that church laws, that were intended as deterrents to the permissiveness and moral decay of societies, and a reinforcement to family unity, have become, for lack of elasticity, and understanding of the spiritual laws as they pertain to human nature, a trap that the new generation tries to avoid, by trusting their own intuitive values, and living together, not till death do them part, but as long as the relationship will not hinder their physical, mental ,and spiritual development. This does not mean that all those, young and old, who live together are more spiritually attuned than married couples, and it is obvious that many religious marriages are truly made in heaven. It is only to reiterate the fact that LOVE is the sole criteria on which should be based a marriage relationship, and the best safeguard against the risk of a broken union.

Marriage can only be sanctified through love. If they want to bring the faithful back into the bosom of the Church, the spiritual leaders will have to forsake their rigidity concerning marriage and divorce, and allow individuals to make their own commitment, freeing them from the bondage of religion, and from all ties but their own devotion and the love they share together. Here again, the role of the Church is to teach, counsel, and give whatever help it can, so that the newlyweds understand the beauty and the treasures of marital life, the joys and benefits of motherhood and fatherhood, if such is their desire, and the spiritual values of living together in the spontaneity of life.

Marriage should be, not a 'promise' to love one another, but a recognition of that love, and the sincere hope it will last a lifetime. LOVE is a spontaneous feeling, and, in our tridimensional plane, where Karma, the law of cause and effect, has a direct influence on our emotional patterns, no one can promise to love, and neither can it be forced upon individuals, or enforced through man-made, or church laws. As it stands today, the "till death do us part" promise, disregards the frailty of human nature, and the inevitable pitfalls of the marital life. Again, in a cosmic perspective, this promise comes in conflict with the law of cause and effect that surpasses all human laws.

Divorce should be recognized as a respectable and spiritual alternative, as it allows all individuals concerned, to rid themselves of the increased negativity of a loveless marriage, a marriage that is no longer based on true love relationships. It is already difficult to get over the emotional trauma of the separation, and it is obvious that the social and religious constraints weigh heavily in the balance when the time comes to separate.

The financial factor is a major cause of conflicts, and this, because many men still do not understand that their commitment, (marriage,) is, or should be, one of equality and justice. And yet, there are hundreds of thousands of separated, or divorced, women who raise a family, but are forced to work, or must live on the welfare system, because they did not receive their fair share of the divorce settlement.

Thus, their earlier promise to love and share were idle words, and the Church (also a men's world) should have insisted a little less on the "till death do us part" sequence, and a little more on the sharing part. From the start, the commitment lacks its most important factor, justice, and, a woman who looks after the house, and takes care of the children, while the husband does his best to increase the family's comfort and wealth, should have her equal part of this wealth. Otherwise, the marriage commitment means nothing, and the wife is no more than a cook, a servant, or a cleaning lady. This is one of the many deficiencies of civil and religious marriages where it is seen that these laws were established by an egoistical male supremacy, much more concerned with its own selfish well-being than that of humanity, male or female.

The most important factor is, of course, the well-being of the children. When the time comes to separate, they become the stake of negociations that can only cause friction and resentment between all members of the family. This is why it should weigh heavily in the balance, and be the subject of careful considerations. However, it has been recognized, (and psychiatrists and psychotherapists will agree to this,) that a relationship, where indiffference and resentment has replaced love and affection, will disrupt the fragile equilibrium of the family cell, and influence, for the worst, the physical and mental behavior of the children. In many cases, the social worker is forced to remove these children from their family environment, and they are placed in a foster home until they regain their mental stability.

Being a wife and a mother, and attending the needs of a family, is one of the noblest and most rewarding tasks on the earth plane. It is one that truly reflects the spirit of love and servitude, which is the ultimate goal of all humanity. Being a mother is the ultimate accomplishment and fulfilment, as it allows another spirit to incarnate, and experience life on the earth plane once again.

All mothers should be proud of their status, that surpass any other career in the world. It is only their unconscious karmic resentment, stirred by centuries of physical and mental slavery and abuse, that veils the grandeur and the uniqueness of their position in the world. Far from envying men's status, they should be proud of their unique role in the home, and in the procreative aspect of life. Motherhood is definitely a feminine attribute, and men will certainly not contest women's supremacy in that field.

However, this does not mean that, just because she is able to bear a child, a woman should restrict herself, or be restricted to that role. Each individual is a unique and free spirit, and if motherhood is the ultimate career, there are also other fulfilling careers in the world, where men, and women alike, can best serve others, and work together in true brotherhood of spirit. As mentioned before, it is not what we do materially that is important, it is what we absorb in our spiritual force, and the effect it has on others. Maternity is one amongst many choices, and this choice is made prior to our incarnation in the world. Thus, a woman who bore many children in previous lives, certainly has the right to leave out pregnancy in the present one, and there is definitely more to life than the narrow perspective of our present generation.

Each gender has its own individual needs. Each individual is in the world for a specific mission, and women, as well as men, should reconsider they own scale of values, and their own purpose for having incarnated once again. No one can serve two masters, and we must find, each in our own personalized way, how we can best serve others, and become the lighthouse that will guide mankind on the stormy waters of materiality. The law of cause and effect leads us, inevitably, and sometimes through indirect means, towards the goal of our life, and no one can interfere in the ultimate process of the soul. The golden rule is to live and let live.

Of course, everyone will agree that the family circle, father-mother-child, is the best environment to experience life to the fullest, but, in the evolutionary process of life, all conditions and experiences of life are valid and worthwhile. Thus, a child who finds himself, or herself, with a single parent, was not placed in this situation by the whims of fate. On the contrary, the spirit has chosen that specific experience, in order to grow in understanding, and learn the necessary experiences inherent to that condition. The child may feel deprived of something important in his life, but only because it is part of the false expectations of mankind, to compartmentalize human experiences in specific behavioral patterns, father-mother-child, boss-employee, priest-parishioners, teacher-pupil, sunday-rest, work-production-profit. Even if the child feels comfortable with a unique parent, there will always be a young companion, or even an adult, who will remind him of his condition, and will make him feel he is missing something. A mother is very important in the life of a child, but, as for the deaf, or the blind, who will try to compensate for the missing sense, or senses, there are compensations in all conditions of life, when that life is lived in a spirit of love and brotherhood. It is only when he is confronted with the singularity of his situation, that the child feels different, and begins to be ill-at-ease in his own environment.

Society is greatly responsible, and must share the responsibility, for we are the ones, who placed our egotism and intolerance above the laws of love and compassion. In a greater spectrum of life, it is as important to experience a life without a mother, or a father, or both, as it is important to life within a united family circle. Life is without end, and it is through these various experiences, that we come to realize the oneness of all life, and the true spiritual value of each individual experience in the world.

There will come a time, when the intrinsic and equal values of the male and female attributes ,will be recognized, and accepted, as the unique and specific experience they were originally meant to be. Both men and women will gain in the process, as they will cease to challenge each other, and begin to work, hand in hand, for the betterment of all mankind.

Until then, marriage commitment, either civil or religious, will remain a stabilizing force and the most gratifying form of relationship in this physical world.